Post Morten

the slippery slope to blackout drunkenness and mortifying behaviour with co-worker all started on a sunny Friday afternoon. Work crew decided to picnic on the grass. Good in theory - bad in practice. Bad because I bought a bottle of wine from M&S and some cups, but everyone else was drinking beers. So I drank the entire bottle myself. naturally.

Then I was so drunk I decided a beer would be nice as well. Then someone had the silly idea of going to a bar often frequented by the wider work crew. I remember drinking a beer there too... and that's about the last I remember of the night.

so in between groaning and grabbing my sore head, I was faced with the horrid task of asking less-than-adorable-balding-coworker what had happened the night before.

I learned several things

- I had vomited outside the bar before getting a cab
- I had vomited on the carpet in my bedroom (this I vaguely remember) and he'd cleaned up after me
- we didn't shag
- but we did, in his words do 'boy and girl stuff'

mortified.

he wouldn't leave either... just kept lying there as if something was going to happen between us - tentatively stroking my back or patting my shoulder and not taking the absolute lack of reciprocal touching as a hint he should leave. I ended up telling him I was already late to make it to my friend's 30th and make her the pinacoladas I'd promised (this was actually true)

I was very nice. I told him what had happened the night before was a mistake, it shouldnt've have happened, and I was sorry

there a few thoughts with which to console myself:

- we didn't shag
- no other coworker has since come up to me in the office and remarked 'how drunk were you Friday night!' or 'nice projectile vomit!'
- balding-coworker was off on holidays for two weeks so I wouldn't have to see him for a while

but in the meantime I've grown angry. After all, he'd hit on me before and I'd said no, I wasn't interested in him. So here's a guy who I consider a good friend, who knows I don't fancy him, who has just watched me vomit - twice - then kisses me (and lord knows what else - ew!). This is surely;

a) gross
b) what's commonly known as 'taking advantage of a girl'

I haven't and won't tell my friends about what happened. I'm trying to forget it myself and it still disturbs me greatly. I am debating whether I need to face the unpleasant task of telling balding-coworker that if he breathes a word of it to anyone I'll castrate him. I actually doubt he'll tell anyone, but I have a massive phobia of office people gossiping about me - I've just copped it too much before and hate it with a passion.

I think I'll leave it and if he ever brings it up I'll have a go at him for taking advantage of me.

he is off the Christmas card list.

ugh.

I woke up severely hungover the other Saturday morning. Then I realised there was someone else in my bed ...but when I looked over I realised it was just my adorable-balding-workmate, and I vaguely remembered him cabbing me home the night before.

...but hang on... where were my pyjamas? I remembered wearing some the night before - but I had no recollection of them being removed.

oh crap. oh unholy, hungover-to-high-heavens crap.