my single friend

I am now someone's single friend. Actually, I have been for a little over a week... Fabulous friend from touch rugby (and indeed half of my team) have been on it for a few months now and have been dating half of London... and it doesn't sound like the bad half.

So my profile is up, photos are uploaded and fabulous friend (who works in communications) has written a fabulous description of me, making me sound ever so sassy and date-worthy.

Trawling through the photos is quite fun. Really it's like shopping online for a boy, with pictures and a brief resume before you even bother to think about purchasing. After trawling through 70+ pages of boy's faces

(search criteria: London, employed, non-smoker, no kids, aged 24-32)

I begin to establish somewhat of an efficient system. Photos with a nice grin stand out. Extra points for dimples, however disappointingly enough there aren't many to be found. Photos where the boy has taken it of himself lose points. It's all about the extra photos - it's amazing how different guys can look from different angles! If he only has photos he has taken himself, he is dismissed. If he has photos with bunches of mates, he gains points. Many bonus points if they're hot. Photos where he has cut out an exgirlfriend also lose points. tacky. Although one bright spark edited his photo with a girl to include an arrow and 'sister!'. Funny. Shame he wasn't hot enough.

London is beginning to have an impact on me. I get snobby about jobs, I want an investment banker, doctor, or similarly successful-sounding career. Once the basics are perused, then and only then will I bother to read what his mate has written about him. Boy can cook - tick. According to everyone, their mate is the life of the party... although I can't take the piss too much cos my profile leads in that direction too - but in my case it's true! ;) Sense of humour must be evident enough to rate a mention. Sports-related hobbies and mention of althletic prowess also gain points.

Whilst flicking through men, I discovered one mate on there, nice photo of him - you can't tell he looks like an overmuscled hobbit at all. There is also no way of knowing he comes with more baggage than a transatlantic flight. I start to get a little scared.

Then I recognise another face - a boy from work. A *cute* boy from work... one I stare at whenever the opportunity arises. He has dimples when he smiles. He has them in spades. After reading his profile, he also has a very odd but cute-sounding nickname. Unfortunately he is 31 and looking for a girl aged 21-31 - loss of a massive amount of points right there. If he's prepared to date a woman a decade his junior, but not a year older than himself, I can only summise he's got that I-must-be-older-and-be-the-breadwinner mentality. He certainly has a decent career and probably would out-earn me, but I just don't like that traditional ideal. Besides which, I have a very strong belief in don't-screw-the-crew. Especially in this gossipy boys-club they call an office. But damn he's cute - dresses nicely too. His profile mentions martial arts. that's hot.


(sigh)