14 minutes

I've had a major dilemma

The first time I went to a solarium was 3 weeks ago. The nice girl convinced me not to go in for too long, so I stood there for 8 minutes in the big cylindrical solarium machine wondering if the damn thing was on and feeling like a fool. I hopped out at the end of it and asked her if it was supposed to light up or anything, cos although I'd never been to one in my life, the ones I'd usually seen in pictures glowed blue. She assured me that these machines didn't really light up much.

I trusted her. That was my first mistake.

So on Saturday I go back - to the same solarium - for the second solarium visit in my life. Seeing as I'd seen no visible effects from my previous 8 minute visit, I just asked what the longest I could stay in was, and booked a 14min slot. So I hit the button and climb into the machine and it's lit up all blue. Last time it didn't light up blue.

so I knew it definitely hadn't turned on properly that first time. I'd stood there for 8 minutes in a tiny little cylinder and achieved nothing. how embarrassment.

so I just stayed there for the 14min, and when I hopped out I explained to the girl how it definitely didn't work last time, and she apologised and credited my account with the 8min

if the damn machine had worked when I was in there for 8 min the first time, I would've got a little burnt and realised 8min was fine, if not a little too much. Instead, I had logically assumed it wasn't enough and knowing nothing about solariums, went the full amount. I went in at 4pm Saturday, but about 8pm I was glowing red. All over. fried. Yesterday I didn't even leave the house. I look ridiculous. Today I am working from home.

Not to mention the pain. I have sunburnt underarms. I have almost certainly done permanent damage to my skin

The sucky thing is, it's not really my fault cos I knew nothing about solariums and had no way of knowing this would happen. It's not totally the girl's fault that the machine didn't work the first time - though she should've not been so casual about saying the tubes didn't light up much - there's a very distinct blue glow... and she sure as hell should've stopped me booking 14min. I rang them yesterday but she wasn't working.

bring on my next skin cancer :(

My flatmates have done a tremendous job of not laughing at me every time they see me. When I woke up this morning I had to take several deep breaths before braving a look in the mirror - I think I am past the worst of it, but I'm still very much the incredible red woman. Just call me Radioactive Girl. I had to explain to the boy last night that no, I couldn't come out and meet him and his friends at the pub as planned because I was stupidly burnt and unable to put proper clothing on, let alone face a shocked and bemused public.

My inner toyboy is mortified. I have always always hated solariums because back when I was your typically bronzed Aussie, I would get accused of using them all the time and smugly reply that no, I'd never gone to one in my life. Now when I finally face up to the office my skin will be a completely different colour (hopefully tan) and I may have to admit my girly indulgence to everyone.

dammit!