It was a weird feeling, showering Wednesday morning and knowing that it was my last shower for at least 2 days
No, I wasn't going trekking somewhere exotic, I was going into the office, then going straight to the airport and flying to Australia
it's a long long way from London
2 tube rides
3 plane trips
1 train ride
and a short car trip later and I was home
flew out Wednesday, arrived on Friday. Thursday was lost to the world... passed in a haze of boring movies and novel pre-packaged servings of food
Slept most of yesterday and was wide awake at 4am this morning. After eating 3 chocolate bars for breakfast I managed to run 5km, go for a swim in the pool, go shopping with friends, visit my Dad (and commandeer overnight use of his car), attend my friend's fitting for her wedding dress, and after I have dinner with Mum I will drive an hour and a half north to visit a friend. It's his 4year old's birthday, but I'll get there too late to say hello to the little man.
I am redefining exhausted. Hopefully I'll live to blog again.
Saturday 25 October 2008
Tuesday 21 October 2008
Here's to me, Mrs. Robinson...
Had gotten a nice message from the boy one morning wishing me luck with my exam the next day, but remembered that he was unwilling to cross a bridge for me and didn't reply. I am all that is womanly restraint ;)
I was still planning on going to his comedy gig, and was princessy-enough to plan to dress especially nice that day and touch up my makeup before arriving. The goal was to look effortlessly attractive and entirely unattainable - confident-office-sexy-chic. I'd also realised that another boy I used to date (the former title holder of boy-who-made-no-effort) who had messaged me out of the blue the other week conveniently lived up the road in that direction... it would be very fun to invite him along.
fun... but not worth the effort. A deliciously evil train of thought though - I liked it.
so me and my darling-friend-and-flatmate went and checked it out - stand-up comedians trying out their new material - one guy was pretty good, two of them seemed absolutely wasted and were terrible, but even when the jokes bombed it was still kinda funny. Perhaps that had more to do with the copious amount of wine I'd consumed and less to do with the jokes though. The boy got up and performed (glorious double entendre right there!) and wasn't brilliant, but wasn't cringe-worthy. Fun night, definitely worth the effort.
Had chatted briefly with the boy and he was nice enough to ask how my exam went, but he wasn't falling over himself to come talk to me during the intermission or anything. I said goodbye before I left and mentioned I was away for the next month.
Walking through the door at home and my phone starts ringing... it was him asking if he could drop in for a visit. Again I asked what he'd be dropping in for, again he said just coffee... he mentioned his friend would drop him off so I asked how he was planning on getting home. He said the night bus... I asked what number... he couldn't answer that and I laughed at him. I told him he was an odd little creature for inviting himself over last week and then deciding he couldn't cross a bridge. He agreed he was an idiot, I reminded him that 'massive dork' were the words of choice.
I wish I could remember exactly what was said cos I was rather happy to pull off bemused and condescending rather than narky-woman-scorned. Yay me. Somehow I successfully conveyed my dismay at his complete and utter lack of effort because he said he'd start reading up on chivalry... I agreed that was a good idea. There's my effort educating the youth of today. I'd rather it was a lot more like sex-ed, but hey.
I was still planning on going to his comedy gig, and was princessy-enough to plan to dress especially nice that day and touch up my makeup before arriving. The goal was to look effortlessly attractive and entirely unattainable - confident-office-sexy-chic. I'd also realised that another boy I used to date (the former title holder of boy-who-made-no-effort) who had messaged me out of the blue the other week conveniently lived up the road in that direction... it would be very fun to invite him along.
fun... but not worth the effort. A deliciously evil train of thought though - I liked it.
so me and my darling-friend-and-flatmate went and checked it out - stand-up comedians trying out their new material - one guy was pretty good, two of them seemed absolutely wasted and were terrible, but even when the jokes bombed it was still kinda funny. Perhaps that had more to do with the copious amount of wine I'd consumed and less to do with the jokes though. The boy got up and performed (glorious double entendre right there!) and wasn't brilliant, but wasn't cringe-worthy. Fun night, definitely worth the effort.
Had chatted briefly with the boy and he was nice enough to ask how my exam went, but he wasn't falling over himself to come talk to me during the intermission or anything. I said goodbye before I left and mentioned I was away for the next month.
Walking through the door at home and my phone starts ringing... it was him asking if he could drop in for a visit. Again I asked what he'd be dropping in for, again he said just coffee... he mentioned his friend would drop him off so I asked how he was planning on getting home. He said the night bus... I asked what number... he couldn't answer that and I laughed at him. I told him he was an odd little creature for inviting himself over last week and then deciding he couldn't cross a bridge. He agreed he was an idiot, I reminded him that 'massive dork' were the words of choice.
I wish I could remember exactly what was said cos I was rather happy to pull off bemused and condescending rather than narky-woman-scorned. Yay me. Somehow I successfully conveyed my dismay at his complete and utter lack of effort because he said he'd start reading up on chivalry... I agreed that was a good idea. There's my effort educating the youth of today. I'd rather it was a lot more like sex-ed, but hey.
Monday 20 October 2008
Funniest first date *ever*
...unfortunately though, it belonged to someone else.
my lovely single mate just joined up to mysinglefriend.com and had her first date on the weekend - when I checked out the website I was really impressed with the quality of boy it contained! I think I'd actually consider it... the online dating thing seems kinda tragic, but then I've done the speed dating, and been rocking round every local drinking hole... don't really think any one thing is less tragic than the other.
the funny bit though - her and the boy she was meeting for the very first time were walking past a bar when a drunken aussie stumbled out in front of her, looked at her, and exclaimed 'you're STUNNING!'
...then turned to the bloke she was with and asked 'what's a girl like that doing with a guy like you???' Hilarious! You couldn't *pay* someone to talk you up any better on a first date! Gotta feel sorry for the guy... except it's just too funny to bother with that!
my lovely single mate just joined up to mysinglefriend.com and had her first date on the weekend - when I checked out the website I was really impressed with the quality of boy it contained! I think I'd actually consider it... the online dating thing seems kinda tragic, but then I've done the speed dating, and been rocking round every local drinking hole... don't really think any one thing is less tragic than the other.
the funny bit though - her and the boy she was meeting for the very first time were walking past a bar when a drunken aussie stumbled out in front of her, looked at her, and exclaimed 'you're STUNNING!'
...then turned to the bloke she was with and asked 'what's a girl like that doing with a guy like you???' Hilarious! You couldn't *pay* someone to talk you up any better on a first date! Gotta feel sorry for the guy... except it's just too funny to bother with that!
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Death of a Toyboy
okay... so he was really only a *potential* toyboy - more's the pity!
...and I didn't have my normal Sunday catch-up with the comedian boy, but he has a regular gig up the road from me every Monday.
so he texted me afterward at 11:15pm
boy: You up?
me: Yeah, and my phone buzzing just scared the shit out of me!
boy: I'm on my way home, should I swing by?
me: Hmm - and what would you be swinging by for?
boy: A cup of coffee ofcourse
me: I don't know if I believe that... but if you're not gonna be disappointed with a cup of instant coffee... okay then
boy: Over the bridge now. I'll speak to you soon
me: You are a massive dork!
boy: Yep.
I shit you not. Geez I pull the good ones! He'll only 'speak to me soon' if I answer my phone..... very much thinking I won't bother. Although I do actually want to go see this comedy gig up the road from me, sounds cool... won't let that stop me
but even if he assumes I simply want to use and abuse him for sex (it was fun even just typing that!) it doesn't excuse the lack of effort he's shown... maybe he'd assume he could skip the three dates and the expensive dinners... but not even bothering to catch up unless he's in the immediate neighbourhood is *too* insulting!
I swear every guy I meet tries to out-do the previous with regards to just how little effort can be made to hook up with a girl - a few more dates and it'll be like playing limbo...
...how. low. can. you. go?
...how. low. can. you. go?
oh dear.
...and I didn't have my normal Sunday catch-up with the comedian boy, but he has a regular gig up the road from me every Monday.
so he texted me afterward at 11:15pm
boy: You up?
me: Yeah, and my phone buzzing just scared the shit out of me!
boy: I'm on my way home, should I swing by?
me: Hmm - and what would you be swinging by for?
boy: A cup of coffee ofcourse
me: I don't know if I believe that... but if you're not gonna be disappointed with a cup of instant coffee... okay then
boy: Over the bridge now. I'll speak to you soon
me: You are a massive dork!
boy: Yep.
I shit you not. Geez I pull the good ones! He'll only 'speak to me soon' if I answer my phone..... very much thinking I won't bother. Although I do actually want to go see this comedy gig up the road from me, sounds cool... won't let that stop me
but even if he assumes I simply want to use and abuse him for sex (it was fun even just typing that!) it doesn't excuse the lack of effort he's shown... maybe he'd assume he could skip the three dates and the expensive dinners... but not even bothering to catch up unless he's in the immediate neighbourhood is *too* insulting!
I swear every guy I meet tries to out-do the previous with regards to just how little effort can be made to hook up with a girl - a few more dates and it'll be like playing limbo...
...how. low. can. you. go?
...how. low. can. you. go?
oh dear.
All in All a Big Weekend
End of season drinks with my other sports team started off tame, but I stupidly drank wine and I was fine all night then suddenly towards the end of the night I go from fine to spastic in the space of 5min (always the way). I found out my favourite gorgeous boy teammate has a girlfriend (I swear every time he smiles an angel gets its wings!), and then chatted to the next cutest boy and may've been flirty so my best mate got shitty cos she's slept with him before.
Don't remember leaving, and the next day I had a long and angry text from my friend about the boy... so I was checking my sent messages and saw I'd messaged the comedian boy - spoke to him later that day and found out I'd actually called him at 2:30am... and rambled on for a few minutes til he hung up on me... bugger. I never usually drunk dial!
My response to my friend's accusations of poor form (which I barely remember composing) was as follows:
What. I am lost. Rock on. Night night
...she said she looked at it the next day and laughed and thought "how can I be angry at that!" - it's good to be an amusing drunk...
Had also woken up with a sprained pinky finger and a small graze on my knee... looked at my favourite pair of jeans, and found that they had a nice little hole to match. Damn! Obviously I took an almighty drunken stumble... but can't remember where or when. Mortified. How many people saw!?! eek.
sloppy sloppy! Have been such a well behaved drunk lately but have totally lost form in the last few weeks!
Next day I had to rush to my mate's to make her cocktails for her 30th - am hungover and lugging about 6 litres of cocktail paraphernalia and spare high heels - hop off at Wandsworth Town rail station and am chatting to get directions to her house - found out that Wandsworth Station and Wandsworth Town Rail Station are two completely different entities! Who knew!?? I am still very much a tourist in this town. I have to train it to Clapham Junction to where someone is nice enough to take pity on the lost little Australian and come pick me up.
Arrive at hers, brain still barely functioning, make her a cocktail, walk into the other room to give it to her, come back to the kitchen and find that half a litre of vodka is missing - still mystified how one of her dodgy drunk friends stole so much so quickly... so with all my preparation I am out of vodka. Really kills the tone for the night and we go out to Oceania, a super-club with 7 differently themed rooms and lots of novely value, and despite sporty spiffy VIP arm bands... was just not feeling it. Very young club - felt like an absolute prude for not having my ass-cheeks hanging out the bottom of my skirt... seriously. Plus *no* hot guys - even the guys agreed on that one!
Don't remember leaving, and the next day I had a long and angry text from my friend about the boy... so I was checking my sent messages and saw I'd messaged the comedian boy - spoke to him later that day and found out I'd actually called him at 2:30am... and rambled on for a few minutes til he hung up on me... bugger. I never usually drunk dial!
My response to my friend's accusations of poor form (which I barely remember composing) was as follows:
What. I am lost. Rock on. Night night
...she said she looked at it the next day and laughed and thought "how can I be angry at that!" - it's good to be an amusing drunk...
Had also woken up with a sprained pinky finger and a small graze on my knee... looked at my favourite pair of jeans, and found that they had a nice little hole to match. Damn! Obviously I took an almighty drunken stumble... but can't remember where or when. Mortified. How many people saw!?! eek.
sloppy sloppy! Have been such a well behaved drunk lately but have totally lost form in the last few weeks!
Next day I had to rush to my mate's to make her cocktails for her 30th - am hungover and lugging about 6 litres of cocktail paraphernalia and spare high heels - hop off at Wandsworth Town rail station and am chatting to get directions to her house - found out that Wandsworth Station and Wandsworth Town Rail Station are two completely different entities! Who knew!?? I am still very much a tourist in this town. I have to train it to Clapham Junction to where someone is nice enough to take pity on the lost little Australian and come pick me up.
Arrive at hers, brain still barely functioning, make her a cocktail, walk into the other room to give it to her, come back to the kitchen and find that half a litre of vodka is missing - still mystified how one of her dodgy drunk friends stole so much so quickly... so with all my preparation I am out of vodka. Really kills the tone for the night and we go out to Oceania, a super-club with 7 differently themed rooms and lots of novely value, and despite sporty spiffy VIP arm bands... was just not feeling it. Very young club - felt like an absolute prude for not having my ass-cheeks hanging out the bottom of my skirt... seriously. Plus *no* hot guys - even the guys agreed on that one!
Thursday 9 October 2008
Death of a Tomboy
Won our final, went to the pub after, was a good night. Until I got home just before midnight and found the loo cistern was flooding the bathroom and the toilet wouldn't stop cycling water. rgh.
Too tired to care, I decided I'd deal with it in the morning and took myself off to bed. This morning my inner tomboy lifted the lid of the cistern, saw water pissing out from where it shouldn't, considered having a tinker, then a strange and unfamiliar thing happened...
I decided that I could almost certainly call someone to fix it for me, and that I shouldn't have to play with yucky toilet water before work (or necessarily any other time either)
my inner princess has conquered my inner tomboy.
along a similar vein, today I find myself emailing my gayest-non-gay-man-alive buddy and describing (on request) what I'm wearing to my friend's 30th this Saturday -
I am wearing a black satiny dress with white trim and a white cherry blossom design, cinched with a wide patent black elasticised belt worn high (how magazine-talk was that!) and am facing the eternal girly dilemma - big (nay, *massive*) night of dancing is on the cards, so do I wear the hot new boots that will surely cripple me, or the comfy boots that only look un-sexy upon close inspection (which will reveal they are a little old, out of fashion, and the ones I wear to work most days) or tempt fate and wear the new heels I ordered online that arrived yesterday (and seem to fit - joy!)
my inner princess has bashed my inner toyboy with her designer handbag, sprayed him with mace, taken off a stiletto heel and plunged it deep into his heart.
gotta run - ducking out for coffee with my work buddy, doubt I'll have the willpower to resist some chocolate cake accompaniment, but hey, that's life - I have the willpower of a fat kid in a candystore...
Too tired to care, I decided I'd deal with it in the morning and took myself off to bed. This morning my inner tomboy lifted the lid of the cistern, saw water pissing out from where it shouldn't, considered having a tinker, then a strange and unfamiliar thing happened...
I decided that I could almost certainly call someone to fix it for me, and that I shouldn't have to play with yucky toilet water before work (or necessarily any other time either)
my inner princess has conquered my inner tomboy.
along a similar vein, today I find myself emailing my gayest-non-gay-man-alive buddy and describing (on request) what I'm wearing to my friend's 30th this Saturday -
I am wearing a black satiny dress with white trim and a white cherry blossom design, cinched with a wide patent black elasticised belt worn high (how magazine-talk was that!) and am facing the eternal girly dilemma - big (nay, *massive*) night of dancing is on the cards, so do I wear the hot new boots that will surely cripple me, or the comfy boots that only look un-sexy upon close inspection (which will reveal they are a little old, out of fashion, and the ones I wear to work most days) or tempt fate and wear the new heels I ordered online that arrived yesterday (and seem to fit - joy!)
my inner princess has bashed my inner toyboy with her designer handbag, sprayed him with mace, taken off a stiletto heel and plunged it deep into his heart.
gotta run - ducking out for coffee with my work buddy, doubt I'll have the willpower to resist some chocolate cake accompaniment, but hey, that's life - I have the willpower of a fat kid in a candystore...
Monday 6 October 2008
duh.
overestimating the depth of a male's thought process is something I try not to do too often... they're simple creatures and I understand that
...but I forget sometimes
my fabulous gayest-non-gay-man-alive friend is not native to Australia, but having inhibited my home country for quite some years he laments the lack of chivalry and attention Australian men will pay to a woman
this boy is no exception
true to form - I get a text message (bastard woke me up!) at 12:30pm Saturday night asking if I'm going to be round my area the next day, turns out he's going to be in my neighbourhood and he ends up dropping by. It's very convenient for him and he doesn't suggest lunch or anything imaginative, just ends up stopping by and trying to jump me on the couch
I am so embarrassed that I contemplated whether the age gap or difference in our earnings would phase him...
- he's a 24 year old bloke
- who I've already slept with (whether I remember or not, quite sure it happened)
he doesn't care about our different lifestyles, he doesn't care about much, he just wants a shag
duh.
...while he's in the neighbourhood anyways
...and he doesn't even decide this until after midnight and a few too many drinks
this is me not feeling very special. However this is also me after an absolute man-drought that's lasted the better part of this year. I can't help but mourn the gradual deterioration of the strong standards I used to have about which men I'd deem worthy of spending time with.
I rationalise that he's fun company, cute, a decent kisser, and it' not like I'm throwing out my schedule or anything...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morale of this blog:
"Don't look for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now"
Christina Walters (Cameron Diaz) - The Sweetest Thing
...but I forget sometimes
my fabulous gayest-non-gay-man-alive friend is not native to Australia, but having inhibited my home country for quite some years he laments the lack of chivalry and attention Australian men will pay to a woman
this boy is no exception
true to form - I get a text message (bastard woke me up!) at 12:30pm Saturday night asking if I'm going to be round my area the next day, turns out he's going to be in my neighbourhood and he ends up dropping by. It's very convenient for him and he doesn't suggest lunch or anything imaginative, just ends up stopping by and trying to jump me on the couch
I am so embarrassed that I contemplated whether the age gap or difference in our earnings would phase him...
- he's a 24 year old bloke
- who I've already slept with (whether I remember or not, quite sure it happened)
he doesn't care about our different lifestyles, he doesn't care about much, he just wants a shag
duh.
...while he's in the neighbourhood anyways
...and he doesn't even decide this until after midnight and a few too many drinks
this is me not feeling very special. However this is also me after an absolute man-drought that's lasted the better part of this year. I can't help but mourn the gradual deterioration of the strong standards I used to have about which men I'd deem worthy of spending time with.
I rationalise that he's fun company, cute, a decent kisser, and it' not like I'm throwing out my schedule or anything...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morale of this blog:
"Don't look for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now"
Christina Walters (Cameron Diaz) - The Sweetest Thing
Sunday 5 October 2008
The Perfect Man
4 years older, highly intelligent, successful, ambitious, relatively wealthy - he owns property... is athletic, works out... plays a team sport
single, happy, no skeletons in the closet... a couple of long term relationships under the belt - still great friends with both exes
sound like the perfect man right?
Except you should replace he with she
or more specifically - me
It's the strangest thing that I sit here wondering if the boy knows that I'm 4 years older than him, if he's figured out that I earn myself a very decent wage... and I haven't held back - the fact that I cruised through university on not one but two separate academic scholarships was revealed in a conversation we had...
and I can't help but wonder if he'd have a problem with it
stupid, isn't it? I can't think of any guy who's ever had to wonder if being slightly older, more academic and wealthier than a girl would be a cause for concern
it bites, it's sad, but that's the way it is. I need to wear a sign - insecure men need not apply.
toyboys who can cook are welcome :)
single, happy, no skeletons in the closet... a couple of long term relationships under the belt - still great friends with both exes
sound like the perfect man right?
Except you should replace he with she
or more specifically - me
It's the strangest thing that I sit here wondering if the boy knows that I'm 4 years older than him, if he's figured out that I earn myself a very decent wage... and I haven't held back - the fact that I cruised through university on not one but two separate academic scholarships was revealed in a conversation we had...
and I can't help but wonder if he'd have a problem with it
stupid, isn't it? I can't think of any guy who's ever had to wonder if being slightly older, more academic and wealthier than a girl would be a cause for concern
it bites, it's sad, but that's the way it is. I need to wear a sign - insecure men need not apply.
toyboys who can cook are welcome :)
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