Not sure if I'm up for a night out - got in at 1am this morning and was woken by my alarm at the usual time of 6:15am... it's a cruel life! Surviving remarkably well at work, however I think others are beginning to notice how little I am getting done. damn. Blame the flu!
Might get a second wind when I get home to some warmth and look in the kitchen and gaze fondly at the collection of alcohol in the corner :)
I am becoming quite the accomplished cocktail-maker lately. practice. loads of practice.
Friday 12 December 2008
Friday 5 December 2008
stood up!
A week or so ago I received a smart ass email about something written on my profile. The boy wasn't ugly, I was bored, so I responded in kind. Cue a week's worth of trading smartass emails, and he suggested we meet up, I nominated a day and told him where I worked... he picked the time and the pub.
So I get to the pub near work at about 3 minutes past 6... and realise it's a fairly spread out pub with tiny little rooms and alcoves. So I walk into one and call him number.... nice recorded operator's voice informs me it is not possible to connect to this number...
walk outside, sit under a heater, go through my phone trying to call and chat to anyone and everyone I know so that I can a) whinge about the situation and b) not look like nelly-no-friends
15-20min later I am out of phone conversations to have... and patience so I go home
by the time I get home there is no apologetic text message, log onto the computer and check my mail - no apologetic email either. Begin to type him a mail that says 'you stood me up you bastard!' and think screw it, I'm gonna try calling him again so I can tell him myself rather than type it... and *this* time his phone rings.
Phone conversation starts of with: Hi, you stood me up you bastard! (I am nothing if not direct)
turns out the computer system went down at work and he was delayed waiting for it to come back up. The (silly) boy hadn't put my number into his phone yet, so he couldn't call me and let me know he was late. When I'd rung him he was still on the tube. He got there 5-10min after I left. Funnily enough there was a blonde girl waving, so he walked up to her and started apologising for being such a wanker... until he realised she was waving to the bloke behind him. Then he tried to call me, but I was on the tube.
All in all a perfectly synchronised avoiding-of-eachother!
So he'd just typed an apolgetic email when I rang to abuse him - and true to form it arrived 30sec into our conversation... so I agreed to see him next week, but told him this time I'd make him come to my office building and call me when he arrived. sorted.
So I get to the pub near work at about 3 minutes past 6... and realise it's a fairly spread out pub with tiny little rooms and alcoves. So I walk into one and call him number.... nice recorded operator's voice informs me it is not possible to connect to this number...
walk outside, sit under a heater, go through my phone trying to call and chat to anyone and everyone I know so that I can a) whinge about the situation and b) not look like nelly-no-friends
15-20min later I am out of phone conversations to have... and patience so I go home
by the time I get home there is no apologetic text message, log onto the computer and check my mail - no apologetic email either. Begin to type him a mail that says 'you stood me up you bastard!' and think screw it, I'm gonna try calling him again so I can tell him myself rather than type it... and *this* time his phone rings.
Phone conversation starts of with: Hi, you stood me up you bastard! (I am nothing if not direct)
turns out the computer system went down at work and he was delayed waiting for it to come back up. The (silly) boy hadn't put my number into his phone yet, so he couldn't call me and let me know he was late. When I'd rung him he was still on the tube. He got there 5-10min after I left. Funnily enough there was a blonde girl waving, so he walked up to her and started apologising for being such a wanker... until he realised she was waving to the bloke behind him. Then he tried to call me, but I was on the tube.
All in all a perfectly synchronised avoiding-of-eachother!
So he'd just typed an apolgetic email when I rang to abuse him - and true to form it arrived 30sec into our conversation... so I agreed to see him next week, but told him this time I'd make him come to my office building and call me when he arrived. sorted.
Thursday 4 December 2008
my single friend
I am now someone's single friend. Actually, I have been for a little over a week... Fabulous friend from touch rugby (and indeed half of my team) have been on it for a few months now and have been dating half of London... and it doesn't sound like the bad half.
So my profile is up, photos are uploaded and fabulous friend (who works in communications) has written a fabulous description of me, making me sound ever so sassy and date-worthy.
Trawling through the photos is quite fun. Really it's like shopping online for a boy, with pictures and a brief resume before you even bother to think about purchasing. After trawling through 70+ pages of boy's faces
(search criteria: London, employed, non-smoker, no kids, aged 24-32)
I begin to establish somewhat of an efficient system. Photos with a nice grin stand out. Extra points for dimples, however disappointingly enough there aren't many to be found. Photos where the boy has taken it of himself lose points. It's all about the extra photos - it's amazing how different guys can look from different angles! If he only has photos he has taken himself, he is dismissed. If he has photos with bunches of mates, he gains points. Many bonus points if they're hot. Photos where he has cut out an exgirlfriend also lose points. tacky. Although one bright spark edited his photo with a girl to include an arrow and 'sister!'. Funny. Shame he wasn't hot enough.
London is beginning to have an impact on me. I get snobby about jobs, I want an investment banker, doctor, or similarly successful-sounding career. Once the basics are perused, then and only then will I bother to read what his mate has written about him. Boy can cook - tick. According to everyone, their mate is the life of the party... although I can't take the piss too much cos my profile leads in that direction too - but in my case it's true! ;) Sense of humour must be evident enough to rate a mention. Sports-related hobbies and mention of althletic prowess also gain points.
Whilst flicking through men, I discovered one mate on there, nice photo of him - you can't tell he looks like an overmuscled hobbit at all. There is also no way of knowing he comes with more baggage than a transatlantic flight. I start to get a little scared.
Then I recognise another face - a boy from work. A *cute* boy from work... one I stare at whenever the opportunity arises. He has dimples when he smiles. He has them in spades. After reading his profile, he also has a very odd but cute-sounding nickname. Unfortunately he is 31 and looking for a girl aged 21-31 - loss of a massive amount of points right there. If he's prepared to date a woman a decade his junior, but not a year older than himself, I can only summise he's got that I-must-be-older-and-be-the-breadwinner mentality. He certainly has a decent career and probably would out-earn me, but I just don't like that traditional ideal. Besides which, I have a very strong belief in don't-screw-the-crew. Especially in this gossipy boys-club they call an office. But damn he's cute - dresses nicely too. His profile mentions martial arts. that's hot.
(sigh)
So my profile is up, photos are uploaded and fabulous friend (who works in communications) has written a fabulous description of me, making me sound ever so sassy and date-worthy.
Trawling through the photos is quite fun. Really it's like shopping online for a boy, with pictures and a brief resume before you even bother to think about purchasing. After trawling through 70+ pages of boy's faces
(search criteria: London, employed, non-smoker, no kids, aged 24-32)
I begin to establish somewhat of an efficient system. Photos with a nice grin stand out. Extra points for dimples, however disappointingly enough there aren't many to be found. Photos where the boy has taken it of himself lose points. It's all about the extra photos - it's amazing how different guys can look from different angles! If he only has photos he has taken himself, he is dismissed. If he has photos with bunches of mates, he gains points. Many bonus points if they're hot. Photos where he has cut out an exgirlfriend also lose points. tacky. Although one bright spark edited his photo with a girl to include an arrow and 'sister!'. Funny. Shame he wasn't hot enough.
London is beginning to have an impact on me. I get snobby about jobs, I want an investment banker, doctor, or similarly successful-sounding career. Once the basics are perused, then and only then will I bother to read what his mate has written about him. Boy can cook - tick. According to everyone, their mate is the life of the party... although I can't take the piss too much cos my profile leads in that direction too - but in my case it's true! ;) Sense of humour must be evident enough to rate a mention. Sports-related hobbies and mention of althletic prowess also gain points.
Whilst flicking through men, I discovered one mate on there, nice photo of him - you can't tell he looks like an overmuscled hobbit at all. There is also no way of knowing he comes with more baggage than a transatlantic flight. I start to get a little scared.
Then I recognise another face - a boy from work. A *cute* boy from work... one I stare at whenever the opportunity arises. He has dimples when he smiles. He has them in spades. After reading his profile, he also has a very odd but cute-sounding nickname. Unfortunately he is 31 and looking for a girl aged 21-31 - loss of a massive amount of points right there. If he's prepared to date a woman a decade his junior, but not a year older than himself, I can only summise he's got that I-must-be-older-and-be-the-breadwinner mentality. He certainly has a decent career and probably would out-earn me, but I just don't like that traditional ideal. Besides which, I have a very strong belief in don't-screw-the-crew. Especially in this gossipy boys-club they call an office. But damn he's cute - dresses nicely too. His profile mentions martial arts. that's hot.
(sigh)
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