it happened a few weeks ago
I was out for a friend's birthday. It was a friend who used to work at our office, so naturally a small crew from the office were there - all friends of mine. There's one friend in particular who is possibly the funniest person in the world. and male. ever so vaguely male.
you see now I'm just being mean... he's lovely... but he's hardly the type I'd go for - no broad shoulders, deep voice, extroverted behaviour... or any of the other alpha-male tendencies to which I'm usually attracted
He's very short, quite bald, has crooked teeth I think... and more than likely has back hair due to his Greek heritage.
but he's the funniest man in the world
the most clever, quickest, driest wit you've ever experienced
I have a weakness for that. I know because I dated it last year - a friend's flatmate - hardly beaten with the ugly stick, but hardly a shining beacon of masculinity... he was another IT geek and very very funny. Me and my friend both agreed he liked me but I never thought he'd ever make a move and I was somewhat thrown by my attraction to him. This didn't stop me inviting him out for an after work drink so we could both whinge about the respective horrors of our jobs.
he kissed me then.
then he also felt me up - publicly and entirely embarrassingly - hands up my skirt like a drunken 14 year old in a (thankfully) empty bar with the ever-so-smooth 'what! no one's looking...'
I love the inappropriate. I revel in it. I think turning up to a second date wearing a tshirt that says 'you wanna break up in 3 months?' is great. There are very few things I'm going to think it inappropriate to ask someone on a first date or any other time. Asking me how I choose to maintain my bikini line.. is, however, one of them. As soon as this guy kissed me he just turned weird. It was like he was mystified that he'd been able to kiss a girl and not get slapped for it - so he just went for broke. He asked me something SO ridiculous, SO grossly inapproriate, that - tactful lass that I am - I just burst out in my most incredulous voice with
'have you EVER had a girlfriend!?'
it was seriously *the* stupidest, most insane thing to ever ask a girl whom you liked.
so crazy and so idiotic that I honestly, seriously, have no idea what it was he said. It must've been so traumatic that I've blocked it. I can however remember how strongly and uncontrollably I reacted to it - and how he paused, looked sideways uncomfortably and answered... 'well, um, a serious, I mean a proper, girlfriend, no'
he was 31
I'm ashamed to admit I dated him a few more times after that - giving him a couple more chances to be normal... but no joy. When I rang him late one night and asked him nicely and calmly if we could just be friends, he said no. Yup... no. Told me that wasn't how it worked. Went on and on about how friends, well friends had to earn his friendship over a long time and I just didn't qualify. Then he told me we couldn't be friends after dating, that wasn't how it worked. I told him (nicelyI swear) that my two exes were two of my best friends, but if he couldn't handle it that was fine. He got very agitated at the idea of not being able to handle it. He then proceeded with a monologue about how relationships worked.
I must've been in the mellowest mood of my life. There I was, listening to his view of how relationships worked, perfectly aware that he'd never actually been in one, yet I stayed quiet, just told him I enjoyed his company more than most and would like to be friends with him.
if I could only be that calm all the time
anyways, I digress. massively. sorry about that - that was the long way of me saying that I now have a tiny phobia about dating IT geeks. his fault.
I also believe very strongly in the don't-screw-the-crew mantra
So in summation; no body of adonis, IT geek, works at my office, is part of my crew of friends. I should not be touching this man with a 10 foot pole...
but we were out, at a club, for a birthday, we were drunk. So drunk that memories become hazy but I distinctly rember dancing with him, just him, arms attached to eachother but decently (no dirty dancing thank god) and I remember him bolding taking hold of my hips and pulling me to him. Not offensive or seedy, but surprisingly confidently... sexy even
and I remember telling ex-workmate that I'd decided to take him home. yup. just decided to.
Thank god she's a real snob about boys and turned to me and said
are you serious?
why?
no! he's ugly
no! If you want to take someone home I will find you a better guy in seconds
she loves short-adorable-balding-boy and thinks he's hilarious too... but thankfully she saw it for it what it was - the oddest, most bizarre drunken idea. I was convinced he would be decent enough to keep it secret and I could therefore escape office gossip... but as it was the small work crew there were already questioning what was going on after seeing us merely dancing together. Leaving together would've been the end of it.
Disturbed
had to send ex-workmate a text the next day thanking her for stopping me from doing something insanely stupid. She replied it was no worries. My main worry was that she would tell someone - anyone - what I'd said. Ex-workmate is the biggest gossip I know. But she's been brilliant (so far)
Monday at work short-adorable-balding-boy emailed me asking if I woke up as hungover as he did. I replied I was, and that my memory got very hazy towards the end of the night. Brilliant exchange of emails that. Phew. We've since become facebook friends and trade incredibly hilariously witty (on his side at least) emails sometimes when we're bored at work.
but I'm still disturbed - this is exactly how it started with the other funny IT geek.
Wednesday 28 January 2009
Wednesday 14 January 2009
I'd rather be a bloke...
Would I describe myself as a feminist or not? Not sure really, probably... as what's the alternative - a traditionalist? Certainly not that. I like to think of it as 'selective feminism' - I demand equality in the workforce - equal pay and - more difficult to strip from people's subconscious - the automatic assumption of equal intelligence and status. This encompasses the glass ceiling issue, the right to vote... etc. However I have no issue if a man wants to open a door for me... and apart from offering to buy me a drink... ummm, what else is there.... actually?
Anyways, I think chivalry is all good, gallantry is lovely... assuming I'm intellectually inferior is stupid, assuming men are physically stronger is.. well... usually true. Much to my frustration, I have had occasion to try and convince my traditionally-minded mother that being born with a penis does not automatically entitle oneself to the ability to reverse a car efficiently or figure out how to program the telly (her: 'do you think you can do it - I know your brother could' - PS I have the computer science degree - has he has the marketing one)
What irks me is the illogical traditions - why is the guy almost always older in each relationship? So what if women mature faster - yes this may be true, but it still doesn't explain why my 53 year old friend stresses about dating a 48 year old man! We no longer live in a society where a woman is usually married by age 21, at a certain age surely maturity levels plateau? There's also the classic breadwinner role - there's some truth in it being preferable as he doesn't have to give birth, but I love the growing popularity and acceptance of the 'house husband'.
I've always joked that there's so many men rocking around with younger women on their arms that I feel the need, personally, to redress the balance - hence the desire for a toyboy that can cook. It's good in theory.
The inequality of gender roles never fully sunk in (doubt they've even fully hit - hey, I haven't had kids...) until I worked in an almost all-male office. Having grown up a tomboy, possessed an unnatural ability to down alcohol with the best of them, and having played a mixed-sex sport for years... I never considered myself the least bit feminine really. Then one day it hit me that whilst I was heading out to the shops in my lunch break every day for a week in order to search and secure the perfect collection of christmas gifts for each and every person I knew, a guy commented he only needed to get one gift - and his wife had already told him what she wanted. It dawned on me - so *this* is what they mean when they crap on about women being able to multi-task. When men are the breadwinners absolutely nothing else is expected of them - that's enough. Whenever any of the guy's wives were away/sick/otherwise occupied and their child was sick (or not even), they either brought the unruly brats into the office, or it was immediately accepted as a big drama that they had to work from home - couldn't manage kids and a trip to the office. One of my female coworkers was a single Mum, two kids under 10, one with mild autism. She came into work almost every day.
Women stepped over into the male domain of the workforce, but we didn't leave many feminine expectations and responsibilities behind when we did. Looking around my office, there were technically brilliant men... some smelt terrible, some dressed atrociously, some had minimal social skills, some were ugly. Some were all of the above. The women... the women without fail all presented well and were perfectly sociable - most looked great, exercised, dressed well, smelt good *plus* we had technical qualifications.
It's enough for a guy to be one of the following: intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic. Get one of those traits in spades and there will be numerous women who find you attractive. For women however.... not so much. You can be the funniest woman in the world but if you're fat and have a face like a hamster you ain't getting laid. The exception being you can be beautiful and stupid, and you will be picked up quite quickly. Sounding cynical aren't I!
Flipside is, if you're a woman and you're intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic... *all* of the above, you can find yourself single for longs periods at a time. My single female friends are some of the most intelligent, funny, successful, best put-together people I know. Surely there's no male equivalent who remains single - however, we live in hope! Time for a sex in the city quote - it's like the riddle of the sphinx - why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?
This extends beyond just personal presentation - as women we were also keeping tidy houses, remembering birthdays and special occasions, buying the aforementioned thoughtful gifts at every occasion. I haven't even touched on the excess of personal hygiene and maintenance issues that we have to deal with, whereas a man is considered well maintained if he washes and gets his hair (only on his head!) cut regularly. We women are an entire all-inclusive package deal, and we are comparatively fabulous.
However I've been part of the problem - I'll confess, when in serious relationships, I've been the one to buy the gifts for the boyfriend's family - remind him of birthdays, bills, anything and everything to be organised... it was almost always down to me. My favourite ex boyfriend however does deserve special mention for taking on the bulk of the housework and cooking when I took a new job that required a long commute... I guess there's hope for the world in the rare man that is able to evolve past the traditionalist stereotype, bless their cotton socks - double that blessing if they washed them themselves and knew to separate out the whites...
Anyways, I think chivalry is all good, gallantry is lovely... assuming I'm intellectually inferior is stupid, assuming men are physically stronger is.. well... usually true. Much to my frustration, I have had occasion to try and convince my traditionally-minded mother that being born with a penis does not automatically entitle oneself to the ability to reverse a car efficiently or figure out how to program the telly (her: 'do you think you can do it - I know your brother could' - PS I have the computer science degree - has he has the marketing one)
What irks me is the illogical traditions - why is the guy almost always older in each relationship? So what if women mature faster - yes this may be true, but it still doesn't explain why my 53 year old friend stresses about dating a 48 year old man! We no longer live in a society where a woman is usually married by age 21, at a certain age surely maturity levels plateau? There's also the classic breadwinner role - there's some truth in it being preferable as he doesn't have to give birth, but I love the growing popularity and acceptance of the 'house husband'.
I've always joked that there's so many men rocking around with younger women on their arms that I feel the need, personally, to redress the balance - hence the desire for a toyboy that can cook. It's good in theory.
The inequality of gender roles never fully sunk in (doubt they've even fully hit - hey, I haven't had kids...) until I worked in an almost all-male office. Having grown up a tomboy, possessed an unnatural ability to down alcohol with the best of them, and having played a mixed-sex sport for years... I never considered myself the least bit feminine really. Then one day it hit me that whilst I was heading out to the shops in my lunch break every day for a week in order to search and secure the perfect collection of christmas gifts for each and every person I knew, a guy commented he only needed to get one gift - and his wife had already told him what she wanted. It dawned on me - so *this* is what they mean when they crap on about women being able to multi-task. When men are the breadwinners absolutely nothing else is expected of them - that's enough. Whenever any of the guy's wives were away/sick/otherwise occupied and their child was sick (or not even), they either brought the unruly brats into the office, or it was immediately accepted as a big drama that they had to work from home - couldn't manage kids and a trip to the office. One of my female coworkers was a single Mum, two kids under 10, one with mild autism. She came into work almost every day.
Women stepped over into the male domain of the workforce, but we didn't leave many feminine expectations and responsibilities behind when we did. Looking around my office, there were technically brilliant men... some smelt terrible, some dressed atrociously, some had minimal social skills, some were ugly. Some were all of the above. The women... the women without fail all presented well and were perfectly sociable - most looked great, exercised, dressed well, smelt good *plus* we had technical qualifications.
It's enough for a guy to be one of the following: intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic. Get one of those traits in spades and there will be numerous women who find you attractive. For women however.... not so much. You can be the funniest woman in the world but if you're fat and have a face like a hamster you ain't getting laid. The exception being you can be beautiful and stupid, and you will be picked up quite quickly. Sounding cynical aren't I!
Flipside is, if you're a woman and you're intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic... *all* of the above, you can find yourself single for longs periods at a time. My single female friends are some of the most intelligent, funny, successful, best put-together people I know. Surely there's no male equivalent who remains single - however, we live in hope! Time for a sex in the city quote - it's like the riddle of the sphinx - why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?
This extends beyond just personal presentation - as women we were also keeping tidy houses, remembering birthdays and special occasions, buying the aforementioned thoughtful gifts at every occasion. I haven't even touched on the excess of personal hygiene and maintenance issues that we have to deal with, whereas a man is considered well maintained if he washes and gets his hair (only on his head!) cut regularly. We women are an entire all-inclusive package deal, and we are comparatively fabulous.
However I've been part of the problem - I'll confess, when in serious relationships, I've been the one to buy the gifts for the boyfriend's family - remind him of birthdays, bills, anything and everything to be organised... it was almost always down to me. My favourite ex boyfriend however does deserve special mention for taking on the bulk of the housework and cooking when I took a new job that required a long commute... I guess there's hope for the world in the rare man that is able to evolve past the traditionalist stereotype, bless their cotton socks - double that blessing if they washed them themselves and knew to separate out the whites...
Tuesday 13 January 2009
frustrated
so the email 'list' of promotions for 2009 went around, and I found it *very* frustrating
I had one argument, in a meeting, all year. This got mentioned in my yearly appraisal. Read it, and you would assume I had an attitude problem.
I am, of course, lovely.
One argument, all year, one isolated incident with one person - a bloke who argues with everyone. His own manager has acknowledged that this guy needs massive improvement in his people skills.
I argued vehemently with my manager that there is no way that everyone in the company who had had an argument in a meeting had it mentioned in their appraisal. In fact, I'd lay large amounts of money down and bet that no one else was faced with this situation
Because of that one (not even strong) argument, I lose 1/4 to 1/3 of my bonus payment
he argued with everyone
he gets promoted
how can I not be annoyed?
I had one argument, in a meeting, all year. This got mentioned in my yearly appraisal. Read it, and you would assume I had an attitude problem.
I am, of course, lovely.
One argument, all year, one isolated incident with one person - a bloke who argues with everyone. His own manager has acknowledged that this guy needs massive improvement in his people skills.
I argued vehemently with my manager that there is no way that everyone in the company who had had an argument in a meeting had it mentioned in their appraisal. In fact, I'd lay large amounts of money down and bet that no one else was faced with this situation
Because of that one (not even strong) argument, I lose 1/4 to 1/3 of my bonus payment
he argued with everyone
he gets promoted
how can I not be annoyed?
Sunday 11 January 2009
the strangest craving
what is it that makes us lean towards either older or younger guys? Father figures, past experiences...? friends, family influences?
I've always found myself attracted to younger guys - fitter bodies, more energy and enthusiasm... stamina ;) But lately I've had the oddest craving to date an older guy. I don't know if it's a hangover from the frustrations of dating too many guys who can't be bothered to get in touch unless they're in the immediate neighbourhood, or plan a date more exciting than watching the telly...
Perhaps London is rubbing off on me, or I'm getting older and starting to appreciate things like career achievements and travel stories that tend to increase and improve with age.
I've realised I've left that struggling-student, 'let's go out wherever the drinks are cheap' stage of life behind. It was a good stage, I embraced and enjoyed it... but it's gone. These days I tend towards the cash-rich, time-poor end of the scale. Let's go where the martinis are good and it's conveniently close to the office.
Too many guys whinge about the exorbitant cost of this that or the other - which I find a really unattractive and unnecessary thing to add into a conversation - only possibly superseded by the kind of guy that goes to the other extreme and like name-dropping, faux-casually mentions big ticket purchases or qualifications and promotions at work in a boastful way... sigh. After they say it, they'll pause ever so slightly and try to gauge your reaction and check whether you're suitably impressed - has the magnitude of just how great they are been fully grasped... is it love at first sight - or do they have to walk past again?
The only real way to insult me to assume that I care.
Unfortunately this happens a lot. I don't know exactly what it is about me that screams 'gold-digging whore!' but the next person who jokes about my opinion or actions being based on whether the guy is rich or not, just may get thumped one. Yes, it's a common scenario, and yes, I have friends who actually are that way... but the frequency with which that particular stereotype is brought up disturbs me greatly - as it is, at the basic level, accusing someone of being a whore. Not accusations of a cash-transaction one-night rendezvous - more insinuating you want a diamond on the ring finger and a BMW for the garage of the 5 bedroom terrace house, but at the end of the day they're still accusing you of fucking someone for money.
But then... so many of my friends have displayed whore-like behaviour. I have a particularly unpleasant memory of promising to wait in the corner of a packed bar for an ex-flatmate whilst she did the mission trip to the bar and retrieved her shout. Cue me standing empty-handed and (horror-of-horrors) starting to sober up half an hour later. Many minutes after that, ex-flatmate returns all wide eyed and excited that a guy at the bar was buying her and her friend shots. He was fat old and ugly... but hey, free drinks! She was all that was woman! I question whether, had've that same guy walked up to her and offered to pay her 6 quid for half an hour of her time, would've she been so enthused? It's all about context really, isn't it?
There is a certain amount of gallantry and chivalry involved in someone else trekking through the crowds and battling their way to get served at the busy bar - and I'm happy to miss out on that part. It's odd how if a guy buys a few drinks for a girl 1. he may expect sex (very much so in Australia - the classy part where I'm from anyway) and 2. he is also be very much more likely to get it. Getting you drunk before they kiss you does tend to increase their chances of you succumbing to their (?) charms... that's just the way it is.
Chivalry is certainly much less dead in London than in Australia - most men will wait patiently in the lift to allow me to exit first, or open doors for me here - in Australia I could count the number of time this had happened on 3 fingers. As I'm unaccustomed to such gentlemanly behaviour I fear I'm annoyingly slow to catch on that they're waiting for me... I've even been instructed by a somewhat irate Londoner boyfriend 'take my arm!' when he was waiting to escort me down the road and I walked beside him, oblivious.
First date-dilemmas, who should pay the bill? This is one area where I'm pretty old-school, and I'm happy to let them pay... seems too odd and too much of a hassle to split the bill. Such a hassle really... why aren't these rules of conduct written down somewhere and inscribed on the walls of urinals or slipped between the sports pages?
I've always found myself attracted to younger guys - fitter bodies, more energy and enthusiasm... stamina ;) But lately I've had the oddest craving to date an older guy. I don't know if it's a hangover from the frustrations of dating too many guys who can't be bothered to get in touch unless they're in the immediate neighbourhood, or plan a date more exciting than watching the telly...
Perhaps London is rubbing off on me, or I'm getting older and starting to appreciate things like career achievements and travel stories that tend to increase and improve with age.
I've realised I've left that struggling-student, 'let's go out wherever the drinks are cheap' stage of life behind. It was a good stage, I embraced and enjoyed it... but it's gone. These days I tend towards the cash-rich, time-poor end of the scale. Let's go where the martinis are good and it's conveniently close to the office.
Too many guys whinge about the exorbitant cost of this that or the other - which I find a really unattractive and unnecessary thing to add into a conversation - only possibly superseded by the kind of guy that goes to the other extreme and like name-dropping, faux-casually mentions big ticket purchases or qualifications and promotions at work in a boastful way... sigh. After they say it, they'll pause ever so slightly and try to gauge your reaction and check whether you're suitably impressed - has the magnitude of just how great they are been fully grasped... is it love at first sight - or do they have to walk past again?
The only real way to insult me to assume that I care.
Unfortunately this happens a lot. I don't know exactly what it is about me that screams 'gold-digging whore!' but the next person who jokes about my opinion or actions being based on whether the guy is rich or not, just may get thumped one. Yes, it's a common scenario, and yes, I have friends who actually are that way... but the frequency with which that particular stereotype is brought up disturbs me greatly - as it is, at the basic level, accusing someone of being a whore. Not accusations of a cash-transaction one-night rendezvous - more insinuating you want a diamond on the ring finger and a BMW for the garage of the 5 bedroom terrace house, but at the end of the day they're still accusing you of fucking someone for money.
But then... so many of my friends have displayed whore-like behaviour. I have a particularly unpleasant memory of promising to wait in the corner of a packed bar for an ex-flatmate whilst she did the mission trip to the bar and retrieved her shout. Cue me standing empty-handed and (horror-of-horrors) starting to sober up half an hour later. Many minutes after that, ex-flatmate returns all wide eyed and excited that a guy at the bar was buying her and her friend shots. He was fat old and ugly... but hey, free drinks! She was all that was woman! I question whether, had've that same guy walked up to her and offered to pay her 6 quid for half an hour of her time, would've she been so enthused? It's all about context really, isn't it?
There is a certain amount of gallantry and chivalry involved in someone else trekking through the crowds and battling their way to get served at the busy bar - and I'm happy to miss out on that part. It's odd how if a guy buys a few drinks for a girl 1. he may expect sex (very much so in Australia - the classy part where I'm from anyway) and 2. he is also be very much more likely to get it. Getting you drunk before they kiss you does tend to increase their chances of you succumbing to their (?) charms... that's just the way it is.
Chivalry is certainly much less dead in London than in Australia - most men will wait patiently in the lift to allow me to exit first, or open doors for me here - in Australia I could count the number of time this had happened on 3 fingers. As I'm unaccustomed to such gentlemanly behaviour I fear I'm annoyingly slow to catch on that they're waiting for me... I've even been instructed by a somewhat irate Londoner boyfriend 'take my arm!' when he was waiting to escort me down the road and I walked beside him, oblivious.
First date-dilemmas, who should pay the bill? This is one area where I'm pretty old-school, and I'm happy to let them pay... seems too odd and too much of a hassle to split the bill. Such a hassle really... why aren't these rules of conduct written down somewhere and inscribed on the walls of urinals or slipped between the sports pages?
Thursday 8 January 2009
100% princess
...and then some!
so I had my date last night with the seemingly alcoholic nice young man I'd been chatting to online
When he'd messaged and asked how I felt about going for some Chinese food and sake... my first thought was... he better be talking about Hakkasan! *such* a snooty thing for me to think! ohhhh dear. An ex took me there on our first date... perhaps I'll blame him for that thought!
Didn't know what to text back. Hoped he had a nice Chinese restaurant in mind and not the local cheapie chinese... said it was fine
We met at the tube, walked to the Hare and Tortoise... cheap-chain-restaurant-chinese... it had all the ambiance of a brightly lit classroom. He was quiet, painfully so... and quite dull. I suspect he's always drinking cos he just doesn't have a personality or the ability to kick back and relax until he's drunk. Don't think he made me laugh the whole night. Went to a pub for one drink, then home. When I got off the tube I patted him on the leg and said it was nice to meet him - couldn't even be bothered with the kiss-on-the-cheek effort...
This is the guy who said he'd try and think of something nice to do to make up for canceling on me! Maybe I'm morphing into a snooty London gal, but cheap and convenient Chinese is not the way to impress a woman!
The other guy I've had two dates with just started to look a *whole* lot better!
Wasn't bad looking, definitely hadn't been beaten with the ugly stick - cute grin on the odd occasion when he busted it out - dose the boy with charisma and he could've been a ladykiller, but as it was... he was just dull and plain.
...so I have another date with a new guy next Wednesday - bit scared cos he also works in IT (consulting), and isn't a drop dead hottie, but he seems friendly and I suspect I should make an effort to be less harsh and actually wait til I meet them before I dismiss them. He's already told me he's planning on taking me to Milk and Honey - looks like a very fancy place, hope he made the reservation prior to telling me we were going there! At least he's trying to impress
2009... year of The Boy ;)
I'm out every night this week from Wed-Sun... gonna look like a distressed 40 year old come Monday
so I had my date last night with the seemingly alcoholic nice young man I'd been chatting to online
When he'd messaged and asked how I felt about going for some Chinese food and sake... my first thought was... he better be talking about Hakkasan! *such* a snooty thing for me to think! ohhhh dear. An ex took me there on our first date... perhaps I'll blame him for that thought!
Didn't know what to text back. Hoped he had a nice Chinese restaurant in mind and not the local cheapie chinese... said it was fine
We met at the tube, walked to the Hare and Tortoise... cheap-chain-restaurant-chinese... it had all the ambiance of a brightly lit classroom. He was quiet, painfully so... and quite dull. I suspect he's always drinking cos he just doesn't have a personality or the ability to kick back and relax until he's drunk. Don't think he made me laugh the whole night. Went to a pub for one drink, then home. When I got off the tube I patted him on the leg and said it was nice to meet him - couldn't even be bothered with the kiss-on-the-cheek effort...
This is the guy who said he'd try and think of something nice to do to make up for canceling on me! Maybe I'm morphing into a snooty London gal, but cheap and convenient Chinese is not the way to impress a woman!
The other guy I've had two dates with just started to look a *whole* lot better!
Wasn't bad looking, definitely hadn't been beaten with the ugly stick - cute grin on the odd occasion when he busted it out - dose the boy with charisma and he could've been a ladykiller, but as it was... he was just dull and plain.
...so I have another date with a new guy next Wednesday - bit scared cos he also works in IT (consulting), and isn't a drop dead hottie, but he seems friendly and I suspect I should make an effort to be less harsh and actually wait til I meet them before I dismiss them. He's already told me he's planning on taking me to Milk and Honey - looks like a very fancy place, hope he made the reservation prior to telling me we were going there! At least he's trying to impress
2009... year of The Boy ;)
I'm out every night this week from Wed-Sun... gonna look like a distressed 40 year old come Monday
Wednesday 7 January 2009
stood up - the sequel
no, I wasn't stood up again
I made the boy come to my office building (he's now referred to amongst my friends as 'Mr Late') and predictably he got lost between the illogically numbered collection of buildings to which my office belongs. He rung me in distress and mentioned he could see 'some castle thing' ahead. He threw me with that, until... 'you don't mean Tower Bridge do you?' Followed by much laughter on my end of the phone - Mr Late is an Englishman, correct me if I'm wrong - but isn't Tower Bridge somewhat of an iconic symbol of London?
Reading his profile online I feared that he'd rate himself hugely and in short, shit me up the wall (yes, sounding very Australian there) with his arrogance. In truth, he was quite shy - made me realise just how attractive I find confidence in a man. He's 26, new to London and new to his career, his boyish enthusiasm actually made me feel old. tragic.
The problem with catching up for drinks after work is that after two glasses of wine on an empty stomach and I'm slaughtered. Almost stumbled at the bar when fetching the third round... (make that a small wine, thanks.)
He suggests food, I tell him I have to get home and see his face fall. After he returns from the gents I suggest a Lebanese place down the road and the food is as good as I remember and the company is lovely. Just don't feel the urge to pin him down and shag him. We tube it home and when it's my stop I kiss him on the cheek and that's that.
Second date goes much the same - fun time, good company... and then we have to go our separate directions on the tube so it's a peck on the cheek and a goodbye.
Later I get a text saying he's 'vexed that he bottled it with regards to a proper goodnight kiss'. cute. He promises to bring along more courage next time, but I fear the pressure of the aforementioned - nay *promised* - kiss may just make him uncomfortable.
I received a (I suspect drunken) text from the boy new year's day, lamenting the amount of beer he'd been consuming and ending with 'why aren't you here?' My darling-friend-and-flatmate (who was kicking back in Edinburgh with me at the time) tried to convince me it was sweet, but the (dominant) blokey-commitment-phobe side of me just thought it smacked of neediness - especially coming from someone who's yet to even kiss me!
I haven't messaged him back or heard from him since, however we've never really maintained regular contact. For the time being there are other guys to date - more online friends - one of whom I'm meeting with tonight...
I made the boy come to my office building (he's now referred to amongst my friends as 'Mr Late') and predictably he got lost between the illogically numbered collection of buildings to which my office belongs. He rung me in distress and mentioned he could see 'some castle thing' ahead. He threw me with that, until... 'you don't mean Tower Bridge do you?' Followed by much laughter on my end of the phone - Mr Late is an Englishman, correct me if I'm wrong - but isn't Tower Bridge somewhat of an iconic symbol of London?
Reading his profile online I feared that he'd rate himself hugely and in short, shit me up the wall (yes, sounding very Australian there) with his arrogance. In truth, he was quite shy - made me realise just how attractive I find confidence in a man. He's 26, new to London and new to his career, his boyish enthusiasm actually made me feel old. tragic.
The problem with catching up for drinks after work is that after two glasses of wine on an empty stomach and I'm slaughtered. Almost stumbled at the bar when fetching the third round... (make that a small wine, thanks.)
He suggests food, I tell him I have to get home and see his face fall. After he returns from the gents I suggest a Lebanese place down the road and the food is as good as I remember and the company is lovely. Just don't feel the urge to pin him down and shag him. We tube it home and when it's my stop I kiss him on the cheek and that's that.
Second date goes much the same - fun time, good company... and then we have to go our separate directions on the tube so it's a peck on the cheek and a goodbye.
Later I get a text saying he's 'vexed that he bottled it with regards to a proper goodnight kiss'. cute. He promises to bring along more courage next time, but I fear the pressure of the aforementioned - nay *promised* - kiss may just make him uncomfortable.
I received a (I suspect drunken) text from the boy new year's day, lamenting the amount of beer he'd been consuming and ending with 'why aren't you here?' My darling-friend-and-flatmate (who was kicking back in Edinburgh with me at the time) tried to convince me it was sweet, but the (dominant) blokey-commitment-phobe side of me just thought it smacked of neediness - especially coming from someone who's yet to even kiss me!
I haven't messaged him back or heard from him since, however we've never really maintained regular contact. For the time being there are other guys to date - more online friends - one of whom I'm meeting with tonight...
*of course* I cocktailed!
wow. that was ages ago. Lots has happened since then. Christmas. New Years. But most notably...
I got laid.
and... wait for it.... yes... REMEMBERED IT!!!
oh fraptious joy! Mother would be so proud ;)
Having gone out the night before and with a big Saturday night planned, I agreed to traipse out to the local favourite bar and give the man-talent a once over, sample the cocktail list which had - through some minor miracle - escaped my notice on previous visits. Suffering the flu still, I told my fabulous friend that it was only going to be a quick trip out and I wanted to bed by midnight.
midnight. 5am. Who's counting? I certainly wasn't - I was madly pleasantly drunk and had a nice boy with me.
So fabulous friend and I starting playing spot-the-hottie (simple rules - any man who you rate 7/10 or above must be pointed out and score mentioned) and I looked over with a "oooh 7over there!" Fabulous friend encouraged me to talk to him, but I was (massively unusually) stuck for words. So she leaned over with a cheery "Hello!"
damn. why didn't I think of that?
So they got chatting and he introduced his mate, bought us more cocktails, and I was convinced he fancied my fabulous friend - and rightly so, she is gorgeous and does pull boys effortlessly and frequently. So the three of us ended up dancing til the club shut, then Mr 7 convinced us to go to the dodgy dance club round the corner, paid the completely unjustifiable covercharge, and then we danced til that club was just about to shut too. Nothing develops between Mr 7 and my friend, and walking to the bus stop I can agree he can crash at mine but shouldn't expect a shag.
I should mention that by this stage I am in the throes of stupid drunkeness. At home he ends up doing star jumps in my loungeroom after losing the challenge of spelling my name correctly. yes. star jumps. as you do. I like that memory. I quite like the boy because of that memory. (Okay, the nice body, olive skin, clean sandy hair and gorgeous deep voice do somewhat contribute)
So we crawl into bed - me with a scrubbed face and daggy PJs, still drunk... and then we shag. Dunno how exactly how that happened, but he had been trying to convince me he'd fancied me the whole night (yes skeptical - only after he knew he'd be crashing at mine) but it was fun.
Still hadn't slept when my alarm went off - signifying that it's 10am and reminding me that I have til 12 to get to the bloody post office and post my Dad's xmas pressies.
My friend's think it's hilarious that I kicked a perfectly good man out of my bed so that I could get to the post office. I don't know what I was thinking. He didn't want to go and kept pulling me in for hugs, kissing the top of my head, all very intimate and cosy - love an affectionate man.
He asked for my number and I gave it to him and he double checked it with me, I do remember looking at it and doubting it for a second (you can guess how this ends now, can't you?) and I joked about giving him a fake number... and then he kissed me goodbye and left
so yes... I haven't heard from him
He has either:
a) got the wrong number
b) died
c) gone on holiday to the Island of Lost Men
d) all of the above
I got laid.
and... wait for it.... yes... REMEMBERED IT!!!
oh fraptious joy! Mother would be so proud ;)
Having gone out the night before and with a big Saturday night planned, I agreed to traipse out to the local favourite bar and give the man-talent a once over, sample the cocktail list which had - through some minor miracle - escaped my notice on previous visits. Suffering the flu still, I told my fabulous friend that it was only going to be a quick trip out and I wanted to bed by midnight.
midnight. 5am. Who's counting? I certainly wasn't - I was madly pleasantly drunk and had a nice boy with me.
So fabulous friend and I starting playing spot-the-hottie (simple rules - any man who you rate 7/10 or above must be pointed out and score mentioned) and I looked over with a "oooh 7over there!" Fabulous friend encouraged me to talk to him, but I was (massively unusually) stuck for words. So she leaned over with a cheery "Hello!"
damn. why didn't I think of that?
So they got chatting and he introduced his mate, bought us more cocktails, and I was convinced he fancied my fabulous friend - and rightly so, she is gorgeous and does pull boys effortlessly and frequently. So the three of us ended up dancing til the club shut, then Mr 7 convinced us to go to the dodgy dance club round the corner, paid the completely unjustifiable covercharge, and then we danced til that club was just about to shut too. Nothing develops between Mr 7 and my friend, and walking to the bus stop I can agree he can crash at mine but shouldn't expect a shag.
I should mention that by this stage I am in the throes of stupid drunkeness. At home he ends up doing star jumps in my loungeroom after losing the challenge of spelling my name correctly. yes. star jumps. as you do. I like that memory. I quite like the boy because of that memory. (Okay, the nice body, olive skin, clean sandy hair and gorgeous deep voice do somewhat contribute)
So we crawl into bed - me with a scrubbed face and daggy PJs, still drunk... and then we shag. Dunno how exactly how that happened, but he had been trying to convince me he'd fancied me the whole night (yes skeptical - only after he knew he'd be crashing at mine) but it was fun.
Still hadn't slept when my alarm went off - signifying that it's 10am and reminding me that I have til 12 to get to the bloody post office and post my Dad's xmas pressies.
My friend's think it's hilarious that I kicked a perfectly good man out of my bed so that I could get to the post office. I don't know what I was thinking. He didn't want to go and kept pulling me in for hugs, kissing the top of my head, all very intimate and cosy - love an affectionate man.
He asked for my number and I gave it to him and he double checked it with me, I do remember looking at it and doubting it for a second (you can guess how this ends now, can't you?) and I joked about giving him a fake number... and then he kissed me goodbye and left
so yes... I haven't heard from him
He has either:
a) got the wrong number
b) died
c) gone on holiday to the Island of Lost Men
d) all of the above
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