I'd rather be a bloke...

Would I describe myself as a feminist or not? Not sure really, probably... as what's the alternative - a traditionalist? Certainly not that. I like to think of it as 'selective feminism' - I demand equality in the workforce - equal pay and - more difficult to strip from people's subconscious - the automatic assumption of equal intelligence and status. This encompasses the glass ceiling issue, the right to vote... etc. However I have no issue if a man wants to open a door for me... and apart from offering to buy me a drink... ummm, what else is there.... actually?

Anyways, I think chivalry is all good, gallantry is lovely... assuming I'm intellectually inferior is stupid, assuming men are physically stronger is.. well... usually true. Much to my frustration, I have had occasion to try and convince my traditionally-minded mother that being born with a penis does not automatically entitle oneself to the ability to reverse a car efficiently or figure out how to program the telly (her: 'do you think you can do it - I know your brother could' - PS I have the computer science degree - has he has the marketing one)

What irks me is the illogical traditions - why is the guy almost always older in each relationship? So what if women mature faster - yes this may be true, but it still doesn't explain why my 53 year old friend stresses about dating a 48 year old man! We no longer live in a society where a woman is usually married by age 21, at a certain age surely maturity levels plateau? There's also the classic breadwinner role - there's some truth in it being preferable as he doesn't have to give birth, but I love the growing popularity and acceptance of the 'house husband'.

I've always joked that there's so many men rocking around with younger women on their arms that I feel the need, personally, to redress the balance - hence the desire for a toyboy that can cook. It's good in theory.

The inequality of gender roles never fully sunk in (doubt they've even fully hit - hey, I haven't had kids...) until I worked in an almost all-male office. Having grown up a tomboy, possessed an unnatural ability to down alcohol with the best of them, and having played a mixed-sex sport for years... I never considered myself the least bit feminine really. Then one day it hit me that whilst I was heading out to the shops in my lunch break every day for a week in order to search and secure the perfect collection of christmas gifts for each and every person I knew, a guy commented he only needed to get one gift - and his wife had already told him what she wanted. It dawned on me - so *this* is what they mean when they crap on about women being able to multi-task. When men are the breadwinners absolutely nothing else is expected of them - that's enough. Whenever any of the guy's wives were away/sick/otherwise occupied and their child was sick (or not even), they either brought the unruly brats into the office, or it was immediately accepted as a big drama that they had to work from home - couldn't manage kids and a trip to the office. One of my female coworkers was a single Mum, two kids under 10, one with mild autism. She came into work almost every day.

Women stepped over into the male domain of the workforce, but we didn't leave many feminine expectations and responsibilities behind when we did. Looking around my office, there were technically brilliant men... some smelt terrible, some dressed atrociously, some had minimal social skills, some were ugly. Some were all of the above. The women... the women without fail all presented well and were perfectly sociable - most looked great, exercised, dressed well, smelt good *plus* we had technical qualifications.

It's enough for a guy to be one of the following: intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic. Get one of those traits in spades and there will be numerous women who find you attractive. For women however.... not so much. You can be the funniest woman in the world but if you're fat and have a face like a hamster you ain't getting laid. The exception being you can be beautiful and stupid, and you will be picked up quite quickly. Sounding cynical aren't I!

Flipside is, if you're a woman and you're intelligent, funny, rich, good looking, athletic... *all* of the above, you can find yourself single for longs periods at a time. My single female friends are some of the most intelligent, funny, successful, best put-together people I know. Surely there's no male equivalent who remains single - however, we live in hope! Time for a sex in the city quote - it's like the riddle of the sphinx - why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

This extends beyond just personal presentation - as women we were also keeping tidy houses, remembering birthdays and special occasions, buying the aforementioned thoughtful gifts at every occasion. I haven't even touched on the excess of personal hygiene and maintenance issues that we have to deal with, whereas a man is considered well maintained if he washes and gets his hair (only on his head!) cut regularly. We women are an entire all-inclusive package deal, and we are comparatively fabulous.

However I've been part of the problem - I'll confess, when in serious relationships, I've been the one to buy the gifts for the boyfriend's family - remind him of birthdays, bills, anything and everything to be organised... it was almost always down to me. My favourite ex boyfriend however does deserve special mention for taking on the bulk of the housework and cooking when I took a new job that required a long commute... I guess there's hope for the world in the rare man that is able to evolve past the traditionalist stereotype, bless their cotton socks - double that blessing if they washed them themselves and knew to separate out the whites...