the strangest craving

what is it that makes us lean towards either older or younger guys? Father figures, past experiences...? friends, family influences?

I've always found myself attracted to younger guys - fitter bodies, more energy and enthusiasm... stamina ;) But lately I've had the oddest craving to date an older guy. I don't know if it's a hangover from the frustrations of dating too many guys who can't be bothered to get in touch unless they're in the immediate neighbourhood, or plan a date more exciting than watching the telly...

Perhaps London is rubbing off on me, or I'm getting older and starting to appreciate things like career achievements and travel stories that tend to increase and improve with age.

I've realised I've left that struggling-student, 'let's go out wherever the drinks are cheap' stage of life behind. It was a good stage, I embraced and enjoyed it... but it's gone. These days I tend towards the cash-rich, time-poor end of the scale. Let's go where the martinis are good and it's conveniently close to the office.

Too many guys whinge about the exorbitant cost of this that or the other - which I find a really unattractive and unnecessary thing to add into a conversation - only possibly superseded by the kind of guy that goes to the other extreme and like name-dropping, faux-casually mentions big ticket purchases or qualifications and promotions at work in a boastful way... sigh. After they say it, they'll pause ever so slightly and try to gauge your reaction and check whether you're suitably impressed - has the magnitude of just how great they are been fully grasped... is it love at first sight - or do they have to walk past again?

The only real way to insult me to assume that I care.

Unfortunately this happens a lot. I don't know exactly what it is about me that screams 'gold-digging whore!' but the next person who jokes about my opinion or actions being based on whether the guy is rich or not, just may get thumped one. Yes, it's a common scenario, and yes, I have friends who actually are that way... but the frequency with which that particular stereotype is brought up disturbs me greatly - as it is, at the basic level, accusing someone of being a whore. Not accusations of a cash-transaction one-night rendezvous - more insinuating you want a diamond on the ring finger and a BMW for the garage of the 5 bedroom terrace house, but at the end of the day they're still accusing you of fucking someone for money.

But then... so many of my friends have displayed whore-like behaviour. I have a particularly unpleasant memory of promising to wait in the corner of a packed bar for an ex-flatmate whilst she did the mission trip to the bar and retrieved her shout. Cue me standing empty-handed and (horror-of-horrors) starting to sober up half an hour later. Many minutes after that, ex-flatmate returns all wide eyed and excited that a guy at the bar was buying her and her friend shots. He was fat old and ugly... but hey, free drinks! She was all that was woman! I question whether, had've that same guy walked up to her and offered to pay her 6 quid for half an hour of her time, would've she been so enthused? It's all about context really, isn't it?

There is a certain amount of gallantry and chivalry involved in someone else trekking through the crowds and battling their way to get served at the busy bar - and I'm happy to miss out on that part. It's odd how if a guy buys a few drinks for a girl 1. he may expect sex (very much so in Australia - the classy part where I'm from anyway) and 2. he is also be very much more likely to get it. Getting you drunk before they kiss you does tend to increase their chances of you succumbing to their (?) charms... that's just the way it is.

Chivalry is certainly much less dead in London than in Australia - most men will wait patiently in the lift to allow me to exit first, or open doors for me here - in Australia I could count the number of time this had happened on 3 fingers. As I'm unaccustomed to such gentlemanly behaviour I fear I'm annoyingly slow to catch on that they're waiting for me... I've even been instructed by a somewhat irate Londoner boyfriend 'take my arm!' when he was waiting to escort me down the road and I walked beside him, oblivious.

First date-dilemmas, who should pay the bill? This is one area where I'm pretty old-school, and I'm happy to let them pay... seems too odd and too much of a hassle to split the bill. Such a hassle really... why aren't these rules of conduct written down somewhere and inscribed on the walls of urinals or slipped between the sports pages?